Oscar the Grouch? (Part 1?)

Big Six Predictions.
Supporting Actor: Morgan Freeman
Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett
Actor: Jamie Foxx (although I have £5 on DiCaprio, better odds)
Actress: Kate Winslet (gotta pull for one outsider! £5 on at 20-1)
Director: Martin Scorsese
Film: The Aviator

Observations...

*Chaplin kicking about with Shrek is pretty cool.
*Why did Chris Rock come on to The Terminator theme?
*Isn't he being a bit harsh with the actors? Bad mouthing Colin Farrel, Nicole Kidman? Its not even like its particularly amusing either.
*Wow, 4 black acting nominees... is that REALLY so special Chris?
*Halley Berry looks thin. A bit too thin...
*Art Direction, at least the kept it short.
*I HATE Rene Zelwegger. Still she makes Berry look not so thin.
*Alan Alda has looked the same age for 30 years.
*If Foxx gets best supporting, my wager looks that much better (wishful thinking?).
*Closer was great.
*Damn you Freeman, damn you for deserving it, now I have to sweat Best Actor!
*Freeman with props to Eastwood then leaves to the strains of ST The Next Generation?!
*Sharon Osborne = Moron I hate Britsh telly's insistance on a homegrown presenting team.
*Robin Williams beard from The Fisher King is alive and well!
*Williams with props to Eastwood. WTF? Is Jack Nicholson not there or something?
*Williams used to be funny, now he stoops to Friends gags (Donald Duck with no pants)
*"Stewa" I concede Williams aint completely gone.
*Animated Feature... Tinseltown's way of dodging the bullet. Incredibles get it, not really incredible. Come on! Stick the boot into Disney! Don't be a coward!!
*HAHAHAHAH! Chris Rock is... HILARIOUS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
*Blanchett is thin too, even more than usual.
*Dustin Hoffman ELATED at Lemony Snickit winning Best Makeup?! Cue music, your dull speech is TERMINATED!
*Drew Barrymore isnt thin, she looks healthy, shame about the 80s hair, looks like Pink.
*Beyonce sings, I make coffee. I expect Chris Rock to have some asinine comment... I am disappointed.
*It bears repeating, Sharon Osborne = Moron
*Jane Seymor looks great for her age. Dr Quinn has too much class for this and her daughter is hot. Jamoe Theakston competes for Osbornes crown, but she wont give it up easy.
*Chris Rock gets "urban" and talks to the people, he asks for their favourite films, they prove to be morons (AvP, Riddick) he then mocks the Oscars by asking if they had seen any of the films nominated. Worryingly they had all seen White Chicks, and loved it. Springer called Chris, he wants his guests back.
*Scarlett Johanson, thin.
*Recap of "less important" Oscars, one way to save time I guess.
*I'm Pierce Brosnan, and I have no voice. Costume Design, Brosnan, has to act with a CG character (the designer from The Incredibles). I feel for Brosnan. Aviator takes it. Wonderfully short speech.
*"Thats two for The Aviator. If Howard Hughs was here, he wouldn't shake hands with anybody." Comedy Genius.
*Supporting Actress. Pulling for Blanchett on this one. Bing! Credit to her for the Academy approvng her portrayal of one of their own (and a towering one at that).
*So far I'm 2 for 2 on my big six predictions.
*Is that guy from Steps? Thats just sad for all concerned.
*Tribute to Johnny Carson, wasn't around to appreciate him but I love his oft quoted line, "The Oscars, 2 hours of glitzy entertainment stretched out for 4 hours"
*Its Ladyboy DiCaprio! Documentary Feature. No Fahrenheit 9/11, clearly punishment for his rant. Haven't seen any of them, just hope Supersize Me doesn't win. Ah good, Born Into Brothels did. Respectfully short speech, things are going well.
*Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst trip over each others lines. Aviator takes Best Editing and I bet Marty is sweating now incase these are compensation for no Director Statue. Jesus Marty looks old!
*Mike Myers, restrained.
*More music, more coffee (Counting Crows)
*Jamie Theakston can count! Thats how he got this gig.Oh, he's not from Steps, he's from Blue (thank you Theakston)
*"Lee a quick word from you?" Lee:"Leonardo DiCaprio" Good try Lee but you went one over the stated limit.
***Moron Update*** Yep she's still a Moron.
*Adam Sandler and Chris Rock (In place of Catherine Zeta Jones?), looks scripted to me although they sadly try to make it look improvised. (Or maybe it was improvised and CZJ WAS supposed to be there).
*Best Screenplay. The criminally overlooked Motorcycle Diaries should get this. Nope, Sideways takes it and I weep into my coffee. I guess Sideways has to take something away, I think it looks good and I'm annoyed at myself for having still not seen it.
*Jake Gyllenhall and Zhang Ziyi on Special Effects. Spiderman 2 takes it as the Orchestra plays Hero. "I'm glad there wasn't a fourth episode of Lord of the Rings." ZING!
*"Tabernacle of Talent"
*Jingoism. Segues into Al Pacino, he's presenting the Honorary Oscar to Sindey Lumet. This goes on a little long, the highlight reel, makes it even longer. Still, its choc with clips from brilliant films... and The Wiz. One could argue that Lumet is to Pacino as Scorsese is to DeNiro, for while Coppola put him on the map, Lumet made him the actor he is.
*Is this actually the half way mark? Am I going to last this or am I going to watch the tape tomorrow?
*Theakston: "Ezzie Iddard", might have been funny if it was intentional. Jane Seymour aside, not one person Sky has wheeled out has had any relevance, insight or connection deserving of appearing on an Oscars show save for being at sad old Elton John's party.
*Izzard's prediction is Arthur Skargill in Live and Let Die
*Emmy Rossum introduces another song, Andrew Lloyd Weber playing a ditty from Andrew Lloyd Weber's Phantom of the Opera, by Andrew Lloyd Weber (Fuck the yanks and fuck Weber on that one, Lon Chaney played the Phantom before Weber was born!! 3 Years to be exact). Beyonce's back, my will to go on is ebbing. Hey there's a Phantom!! PLEASE BE BILLY ZANE! PLEASE BE BILLY ZANE! DAMN!!!!
*Chris Rock cracks a joke relevent to the Superbowl of LAST YEAR!! GENIUS!!
*Jeremy Irons, so cool, so suave, so English. Live Action Short nominees are shown like contestants on The Price is Right. Wasp wins. Wooo. "This is the dog's bollocks." subtle.
*Laura Linney with Best Short Animated. Ryan wins. More Wooo. Speech was probably longer than the film.
*My Dark Horse Kate Winslet with Cinematography. House of Flying Daggers Anyone? No, The Aviator, there's a surprise. I beleive thats 5 now. Terminator theme returns... why?
*WOW! Eric McCormack! From Will and Grace! And he looks bored to be there! He must think Sharon Osborne is a moron too! He probably has no idea who Jamie Theakston is! My God Sky! What a Coup!!!
*McCormack joins Izzard in bad-mouthing Elton's food.
*Moron is no longer sufficient for the imbecilic performance Sharon Osborne is putting on. Even Theakston seems pissed.
*Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek. Cruz goes without saying but my god even Salma Hayek is getting a bit thin which is, in opinion, a crime against humanity... she's still hot though. We roll onto Sound Mixing now. Ray gets its first, Aviator misses its first, Marty's breathing regulates slightly.
*Now the gals move onto Sound Editing. Cruz: "Sounds good to me!" HAHAHAHAHAHA! Chris Rock is so funny he doesn't mind her pinching some ofthe "A" material! "The Incre, Incredibles" get it. The guy gets a bit uppity about making the sound to a cartoon, but still keeps it short so thats ok.
*Hayek ditches Cruz to pimp The Motorcycle Diaries and introduce a song from the film, this woman is a goddess.
*Antonio Banderas (!) and Carlos Santana perform the song entitled "Across the River" and they fucking own it. I skip coffee.
*Someone from Bend it Like Beckham joins Sharon and Jamie.
*Two and a half hours gone... never to return. Nathalie Portman softens the blow.
*Best Documentary Short = Mighty Times

END OF PART ONE?

I gave up here, just too tired. I was taping th whole thing though, so I may finish this up when I watch the rest.